I grabbed a late night bite with Mr. Broken-but-usable JD yesterday. The jerk called me a lone ranger.
About fifteen years ago when I first entered the doors of a church I was called a lone ranger as well.
Trying to not look stupid, I rarely talked to anybody about my spiritual journey. On my own I read through the Bible, the Koran, Buddhist texts, and other philosophical books. I was desperately trying to figure it out on my own. Yes, cue in Celine Dion’s All by myself.
Fast forward to today, and I’m all about community development.
Whether it’s within the church, or in neighborhoods, or even virtually, everything I think and do ties back to connecting people and cultivating community. Problem is, I still lack it on some level.
I meet with lots of folks and I’m involved in many groups, but community still seems elusive to me.
It could be because I have an over-idealized image of what it looks like.
It could be my social tick that causes me to either only lead in group settings or be completely disengaged (which I’ve read is common if you’re an only-child – a term which I thought was ‘lonely-child’ growing up, but that’s another story). Now that I think about it, I’ve seen this in quite a number of ‘ministers’. Passionate when we’re leading, just screwing around in the back when we’re not (my past ten small groups can attest to this on my behalf)
It could be that I just flat out haven’t made the effort.
What do you think?
Is there some neurotic place within me that thinks everyone deserves community but me?
Do I secretly despise people?
Is it because I wear the same jeans multiple times before washing them?
JD fears with all that I do I’m going to crash and burn. Somebody save me.
Photo Credit: Rantes
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