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To follow up on the previous post on Christian platforms and networks… I was just re-introduced to this song Hurt, by Johnny Cash. I haven’t really listened to this song since I was an angst filled teenager when it was originally by the Nine Inch Nails. I loved the song because I felt it described my reality in raw form.
Hearing it now, I realize while it’s still a glimpse into reality, it’s moreso a reality without hope.
If I ever had the guts to slit my wrists back then, this song would definitely be on replay.
It’s intriguing that Johnny Cash chose to cover this song not long before he died. After living a life that many others might envy, he lays it all on the line here and calls it an ‘empire of dirt’ (Supposedy he re-embraced his Christian faith later in life). The accompanying visuals in this are fantastic as well.
I wonder how many of us will look back at the end of our days wondering ‘what have we become’? Even if we’ve impacted a million lives, who are we when we’re completely alone at our final gasps? What’s the kingdom, without the King?
Lyrics below.
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirtI will let you down
I will make you hurtI wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar’s chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right herewhat have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirtI will let you down
I will make you hurtif I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
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A couple other seminary students were sharing with me yesterday about how lonely things can be as they’ve began working in leadership in different churches.
I wrote a while back about how ‘leaders need community‘. I want to take this further as not only an acknowledgment, but as a request, on behalf of leaders.
Certainly there are times when leaders must go it alone, but does loneliness in leadership really need to be simply ‘part of the job’, ‘just reality’, or something we need to simply ’suck up’?
Can we really just assume our leaders are okay, “they’ve got Jesus”?
I’ve read that bouts of depression are normal for leaders - but should it be, with a healthy community around them?
How are we as a body of believers, responsible for our leaders?
Are we setting up our emerging leaders for failure when they’re feeling like this right out of the gate?
And yes, this is me sometimes.
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