When I was 15 I wanted to die every single day.
I had several volumes of mixed tapes which I recall being labeled ‘depression to the max’, filled with pukey-heartbreak songs and raging-industrial-metal constantly on replay. I’d contemplate between making a big splash of my death or just going away quietly. But I never had the guts to do it.
Last week a 15 year-old girl jumped to her death from the 21st floor of my building.
It’s eerie walking by where life was lost.
We probably walk by people every day who are simply one tiny act away from ending everything.
I’m sure plenty of people might say – they’re only fifteen, what do they know about suffering or heartache?
And you could go as far as asking – what do any of us really know? You and I are merely dust; Or maybe organisms with advanced cognitive abilities.
Yet our hearts are loaded with so much more.
Our hearts can burst at the seams with joy. Our hearts can feel the weight of the world. Our hearts can create a gaping void so large the entire universe can’t even fill.
That’s why some of us want to escape. Heaven. Hell. Tranquil nothingness.
What do you say to someone when absolutely anything is better than the brokenness they’re currently in?