The Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Group Blogging Project continues.
Chapter 5 – Protect Her, Defend Her (and use a shotgun if necessary) – is brought to you by Tony Sheng. I’ve been tracking with Tony for years as he mobilizes the next generation in global missions. Tony is awesome.
“Why don’t we have a school dance in this middle school?”
“Because we did a few years ago and found 8th grade girls in the bathroom giving head to 8th grade boys.”
If you think this is vulgar, it’s okay to be offended and never read my blog again. On the other hand, if you think I made this up, I wish you were sadly mistaken. As part of a blog tour on the book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, I’m posting about Chapter 5 today. It’s probably the most sobering and the most frightening in the book because Dr. Meeker explains the very toxic culture that our daughters live in and then she outlines whose responsibility it is to protect them – you, their father. Here are some quotes that should awaken your masculine soul:
The most aggressive campaign against your daughter’s emotional and physical health is directed at her sexuality. She relies on your defense against that campaign.
10,000 kids a day get an STD.
Nearly one in four sexually active teens is living with an STD at this moment.
If present levels of sexual activity among kids continue, by the year 2025 (fewer than twenty years from now),39 percent of all men and 49 percent of all women will test positive for genital herpes.
Popular culture trains our daughters for a life of promiscuity.
Yikes. She goes on.
If you as a father saw what I see every week in my medical practice, you would know what to do. And you’d succeed.
And the best news is: you are far more effective protector of your daughter than any condom, any sex-ed teacher, any school nurse and any doctor. That’s what kids tell us every day. They want to hear from their parents. They want their parents to tell them what’s right, what’s wrong, and what they should do… You need to stay in the fight for her innocence and her mental and physical health. It’s a fight you can – and that you must – win.
I’m in this fight every day as the father of two girls 8 and 11. But it’s not a fight just about innocence – I believe that my kids can be islands of light in this toxic culture that so desperately works to undermine their purity. I believe that they can be relevant to the culture and, in fact, redeem parts of it so that others can see and ask about why they are different. Perhaps growing agents of redemption requires a fine balance between protecting them and unleashing them.
Here are a few things I’ve done. Granted, I don’t know if they are working.
:: I’ve said no to:
+ my wife and mother in law wanting to fly into Las Vegas for family vacation. [I’m still hearing about how ridiculous I am being – sorry, D.]
+ Em, 8, wanting to listen to Britney Spears latest song, “3,” since it’s a song they dance to in hip hop class. [And Britney, you have so much power and responsibility…]
+ Kt, 11, spending too much time with a friend who isn’t the best influence.
+ Movies – anything R. Although we’ve made some bad choices about PG-13 ones.
+ Music – and the challenge of helping them think through the words.
:: Trying to have normal conversations about middle school health class. “Have they talked about STDs? Condoms? Doing the deed?”
:: Trying to convey that we shouldn’t care that much about the approval of others.
:: Praying for, and with, my girls.
Here are Dr. Meeker’s suggestions too:
Teach self-respect early.
When she dates, sweep the garage – presence for when she comes home.
Plan with her – help her understand that sex is for later.
Say something – don’t be afraid to discuss sex with your daughters.
I’m convinced that the next generation of girls – aged 5-20 right now – are going to be the major players in the global world in the future – they are the ones that are going to solve the worlds greatest problems. But they will only do this if they are protected and unleashed. Fathers, stay in the fight. Humanity needs your daughters at their best.