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My beautiful mess of a summer

stellar-ribs-in-mouthNot much went as planned this summer.

The Nidus Festival – a faith, arts, and justice festival I was helping organize, collapsed due to a lack of financing – though I suspect there were other underlying issues.

My love/hate relationship for sermons continued, as I attended a conference in michigan that was actually decent.

Some circumstances caused my extended family to get slammed emotionally.

My condominium board, which I’m a director of had a pending law suit against it due to some decisions we made.  Things are patched up now.

Both my wife and I had bouts of sickness and exhaustion.

Support came from unexpected places.

I had hopes set on helping organize a Toronto TED conference, which somehow fizzled out.  I might just run my own or something similar next year.

After leaving the IT industry for a number of years, I spent a strange amount of time reading up on web development, seo, php, css, and design.

The most beautiful part of the summer was family (yes, that’s my little girl with a rib in her mouth).  Every day was daddy-daughter day.  I had her to myself every morning, I’d show her the world and have her brought back in time for a bite and a nap.  I hope she remembers all of this.

My wife and I ate out together plenty as we decided to save a bit of cash and staycation this year.  I watched her excitement for photography grow, and her passions always help fuel my passions.

On the flip-side I struggled with being fully present with family while being antsy to be productive at the same time.  It’s been an ongoing battle to simply let things slide, and not tie my personal sense of worth with having to ‘accomplish’ things.

In some ways I felt like I was dreaming bigger but falling harder.   So many things didn’t work out, and other projects that remain alive seem to be hobbling along.  Sometimes, I get the sense that people expect me to continually have new tricks up my sleeve.  Well, I’m still working on the same stuff, and no, there’s nothing much new.

I’m slowly finding my way again, who knows where it’ll lead though.

{ 7 comments… add one }

  • b.p. September 2, 2009, 6:52 pm

    Did you hear about TEDxTO?
    http://www.tedxto.com/

  • Po Man September 2, 2009, 7:15 pm

    I thank God for this summer as I joined Ouje-Bougoumou mission trip and spend more time in finishing my basement project. I am so honour to be the first one visiting Alfred website and start dialoguing with this crazy guy in Christ. Moreover, I am so thankful that the Anglican/Church of England has started their missional study:

    Mission-shaped church

    In 2004 the General Synod commended the report “Mission-shaped church” to the whole of the Church of England. Building on the five marks of mission, this report speaks of five values for a missionary church:

    * A missionary church is focused on God the Trinity
    Worship lies at the heart of a missionary church, and to love and know God as Father, Son
    and Spirit is its chief inspiration and primary purpose…
    * A missionary church is incarnational
    It seeks to shape itself in relation to the culture in which it is located or to which it is called…
    * A missionary church is transformational
    It exists for the transformation of the community that it serves, through the power of the Gospel
    and the Holy Spirit…
    * A missionary church makes disciples
    It is active in calling people to faith in Jesus Christ…it is concerned for the transformation of
    individuals, as well as for the transformation of communities.
    * A missionary church is relational
    It is characterized by welcome and hospitality. Its ethos and style are open to change when
    new members join.
    I am sure that God is changing the world. How about us?

  • lon September 2, 2009, 7:37 pm

    hey b.p. of course I did… that's the team I was trying to get on, but things didn't work out unfortunately.

  • Parke September 2, 2009, 7:57 pm

    Keep working hard for the benefit of others and the honor of God, friend. I'm encouraged by your efforts and your pursuit of good things even though it's often not easy or completely clear what comes next.

  • lon September 3, 2009, 1:24 pm

    Thanks for the kind words Parke!

  • A_L September 3, 2009, 3:48 pm

    I think what hurts the most is when a great vision dies, or at least goes dormant for a time. When you know something is right, but it seems that no one else is on the same page. When you know that things must change, because they are not healthy, yet everyone else is quite content to keep heading toward that slow painful death.
    Lon, I appreciate your heart for creativity, for stirring up new expressions of our faith. I appreciate your heart for the underdog, for justice, for truth.
    I can't promise you a rose garden, but I can promise you that you aren't alone in your quest for change, for life. I don't know why things don't always work out, why the good guys don't always win.
    But don't let the dreams die.
    "The dream never dies
    Just the dreamer
    The dream never dies
    If it's strong
    The song never dies
    Just the singer
    So come on, everybody
    Sing along"

  • lon September 4, 2009, 2:14 pm

    Al thank you so much for tracking along with my journey all this time. You've really been an ongoing encouragement. Thanks for the quote as well, i appreciate it bro!

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