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Burning Hot Raging Lust

lust

I’m speaking this Sunday in 12-15 and 16-18 year old gatherings on lust.

I’ve done a bunch of sex talks before, but it’s been a while, plus i speak predominantly to adults year round.

Got thoughts besides ‘keep your pants on’?

Got info on trends, or how to engage especially the younger crowd on the topic?

I don’t really want to google around for it.

Is there stuff you think I definitely need to address? I’m a guest speaker, so I’m fine if I’m never invited back.

Some more racy keywords just for good measure: sexually charged, horny teens – who are in need of Christ, purity, and wholeness of course.

I feel dirty just writing this post.

Photo by: alberto_as

{ 26 comments… add one }

  • Ian Beyer May 19, 2009, 10:22 am

    Our senior pastor just spoke on that this past weekend, but to the adults.

    Video here: http://www.cor.org/worship-sermons/sermons/show/sermons/Lust/

    • Lon May 19, 2009, 2:38 pm

      good stuff Ian, thanks!

  • tony sheng May 19, 2009, 11:17 am

    i think it would be interesting to engage the audience around the idea of sexting [is it really done that much, what does it say about the people doing it, technology allowing connecting very deeply or very shallow].
    of course, i wouldn’t base your WHOLE talk on the subject…..

    • Lon May 19, 2009, 2:40 pm

      Hey Tony, holy smokes, some stats are saying 20-40% of teens are sexting… d’oh… we’re in trouble.

      • tony sheng May 19, 2009, 2:56 pm

        haha… yeah…. i think some of those stats are inflated though – depending on who you talk to.

  • kevin kim May 19, 2009, 6:16 pm

    I’ve been in education for 5 years now in both junior high and high schools. I dont know if LUST is even a concept that kids understand or know anymore. I would even dare to say 80-90% of 12-18 year olds have been involved in some sort of sexual activity (I live in Southern California so it may be magnified here).

    Maybe defining LUST? or … the management of desire? Not sure if all kids think it’s so wrong anymore…just my thought.

    • Lon May 20, 2009, 7:13 am

      Kevin, seriously? you think 12 year olds are at that point? or is it more the exception? i still recall wearing trackpants at 14 and my only major concern was not being the kid who stepped in poop that day.

      • Anonymous teen who stumbled across this site. May 20, 2009, 5:34 pm

        Clarify difference between lust and love.

        • Lon May 20, 2009, 11:11 pm

          Great question – If you ask me the short of it is that lust short-circuits relationships… it’s about your own self, and your own needs, when love is about another.

          we all lust, but much of life is about moving from self-centered lust, to self-sacrificing love.

  • nathan colquhoun May 19, 2009, 6:21 pm

    I”ll send you an e-mail tomorrow with one I did back in university to a youth group….might be some helpful info.

    • Lon May 20, 2009, 7:13 am

      awesome nathan, thanks!

  • Alan May 20, 2009, 10:20 am

    I don’t if you are limited to the “lusting” aspects, but I find in the Christian community, the Pseudo-date is very common in fulfilling the desires of emotional intimacy (sometimes leading to sexual intimacy). It is largely based on us subtlety raising the attractiveness of high EQ males. What it amounts to is “spiritually sensitive” players who, under the guise of spirituality, emotionally date without committing to any kind of relationship.

    It’s compounded by the perceived sinfulness of dating (a la Joshua Harris and a host of other Christian authors) so the whole thing goes underground. In general, and again not sure if this is off-topic, I believe that transparency in relationships in Christian youth is a must – messy break ups and all. Underground (pseudo or otherwise) dating-like relationships leads to cover-ups, sex, and emotional predators who are lauded by unsuspecting counselors and pastors.

    I don’t mean to sound authoritative in the above – I actually don’t understand youth ministry at all, and it is the bane of any ministry I have ever known – but I put it up for your consideration.

    • Harry May 20, 2009, 10:58 am

      – don’t equate lust with sex
      – don’t demonize sex (not that i thought you would but many christians do, at least toward teens)
      – don’t single lust out as worse than other sins
      – try to explain why lust is bad
      – be reasonable

      Just my few thoughts… I’m sure you’ll do a great job.

      • Lon May 20, 2009, 11:05 am

        Good thoughts Harry. Tell me more about not equating lust with sex…

        I’ve definitely got my own definition of lust that has nothing to do directly with sex.

        end of the day though, it will be very much a sex-talk! I’d love to hear more of what you think ‘reasonable’ is as well… cause i agree, we can’t just speak in unpractical ideals.

        • Harry May 20, 2009, 1:19 pm

          The thing with equating lust with sex, even if only implicitly or by emphasis, is that it makes sex look like lust whereas both are very different things. Doing this can have a very negative effect. It makes people equate their intense and healthy desire for sex with lust which leads to self-condemnation and feelings that something’s wrong with oneself. It’s a fine line keeping the two (our strong natural desire for sexual relations and lust) apart but it’s a very important distinction.

          Not sure if I’m making much sense but I hope I do. 🙂

          What I meant with being ‘reasonable’ kind of goes along the same lines. We need to acknowledge that we’re human and that our sex-drive is God-given and healthy.

          • Lon May 20, 2009, 2:06 pm

            Awesome Harry, right there with you… now what do you say folks do with their healthy god-given sexual desires when they 14?

    • Lon May 20, 2009, 11:02 am

      wow… sounds like this is coming from some first-hand experience?

      • Alan May 20, 2009, 11:43 am

        Haha… Maybe not first hand experience – In my singlehood, I certainly dated publicly and intentionally. Definitely first hand observation, both in the present and past.

        I’m definitely dialled in to the concept of transparency of relationships.

        Not sure if Harry was responding to my comment, or your post, but I agree with him. Especially about not demonizing sex, or making lust/premarital sex as worse than other sins. I believe that particularly damaging to the Christian community is the idea that the consequence of sexual sin is termination of the relationship (again, this might be off topic) -> that can become self-fulfilling, and is Satan’s best tool in making sin complete.

  • Cy May 20, 2009, 3:23 pm

    Lon – check out Sex God by Rob Bell, chapter 8. It’s good.

    • Lon May 20, 2009, 11:14 pm

      Hey Cy, good tip, thanks. btw, am I know we haven’t met, but I think I’m seeing you in Grand Rapids this summer…?

  • Paul Wilkinson May 21, 2009, 9:54 pm

    The Pornography Effect is the online version of my unpublished book of the same name, designed primarily to give insight to the women who are the collateral victims of some man’s internet addiction. However, for purposes of your seminar, in particular, check out the chapters “Audience” and “Animation.” http://www.thepornographyeffect.wordpress.com or just click on my name on this comment.

    An entire generation is growing up without the ability to blush — one of a few things which distinguishes us from animals — and therefore without a sense of shame.

  • Lon May 22, 2009, 4:44 pm

    Awesomeness Paul, sounds like you’ve definitely put a lot of work into this realm, inspired that you make your work available for free publicly – hope you still get published sometime soon!

  • John Doe May 25, 2009, 3:53 pm

    Internet Porn is a slow growing deadly cancer to our society. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the percentage “users” of it that are “Christian” is virtually identical to those who are not. It makes sense. Imagine if on your regular tv, for *each and every* standard channel you had ( the cbses, nbcs, foxes, abcs, etc. of the world) you have 3-4 adult channels, free and open to view…. and that’s what we basically have in millions (if not billions) of households (and personal carry-ons in the form of pdas now!) around the world. This temptation and accessibility is at levels *never* before seen in human history. This is going to get ugly unless we bring this problem to light and confront it. We can’t be ashamed any more. We have to stand up as men, admit our faults, ask forgiveness, and seek God for His wisdom in action for this.

  • Lon May 25, 2009, 5:00 pm

    Hey John Doe – thanks for the thoughts… you’re right, this is really serious. And I fear for the next generation rising up with unprecedented exposure… I’m also sure the stats are at least as bad with those who are not of faith… just with an added dose of guilt. btw, it’s not just the ‘men’ though…

  • carel grundlingh May 29, 2009, 2:22 am

    Hi Lon!

    How ’bout posting the (your talk) mp3 afterwards?

    No real tips from my side for the talk, just learning from you guys and tapping into your experiences. Thought of guiding them towards accountability with a trusted friend (fellow journey(wo)men) going through the same phase i.e same age, location, school (?) etc? Invest as a church in software like XXXCHURCH (http://xxxchurch.com – they’ve got freeware as well) and make it available and challenge them to actually INSTALL IT on their pc/mac! This accountability software will only (mayby) help with internet porn…what about the rest of everyday life….?

    That said….accountability partnership between teens: would the partners start blurping everthing out or mock each other? Are teens old enough for such a sensitive relationship…i don’tknow!

    So the most useable part of the comment: would you please post the mp3 afterwards. lol

    • Lon May 30, 2009, 3:08 pm

      Hey Carel! good hearing from you, i’m never a fan of my talks haha, but i’ll send you a link in a moment.

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