In addition to the current content on this blog, I’m hoping to introduce random reflections of people I know, as well as pastoral letters to people in my community.
They’re my words, but not exactly my life situation (Though I do believe in a common human experience we’re all connected by anyways). For me it’s an exercise in empathy as I process through the lives of others, that hopefully shapes a bit of my soul, and yours.
What is it, that I have done?
I should have known better.
Of all people, I should have known better.
In one moment, I broke the hearts of hundreds.
How can God let any one live with such a burden?
He set me up,
and for what?
so I might know his grace?
that his grace runs even deeper than my pain?
That’s really hard to believe right now.
And their tears for me, their cries and condolences,
just seems to widen the wounds
They blame themselves, when really the blame should be mine.
Yet I can’t help but wonder,
how they could have let this happen to me
It wasn’t suppose to go down like this
this isn’t the way the story’s suppose to end
I know there will be better days than this
But the days I feel better, I’m filled with guilt
the days I’m on the verge of redemption
I’m only reminded of my self-obsession
When did the deepest places of my soul
get so unhinged from everything I know?