I’ve spent most of my journey with Jesus with a go-until-you-get-a-no philosophy. The last six years of my life were well planned ahead and have more or less worked out accordingly. I believe in the sovereignty of God, but I also believe in doing my part, and being diligent with the mind and creativity God has given me.
However, at this particular juncture, I’ve been feeling the need to hear afresh from God. I’ve been spending dedicated time in prayer, meditation, fasting, all of that… and no booming voice from the sky. Now, it’s highly likely I’m in denial with the way God’s been speaking in terms of people and opportunities before me, but c’mon God, you’re capable of direct calls…
I’m also conflicted because I barely believe in what I’ve been trained in the last while. Seminary, ‘professional’ ministry, and the church as it is, bothers me to be honest. Great for many, but I really don’t know about my place in it all.
Having said that, I love Jesus, being a part of what He’s doing, and the possibilities of His church, more than ever.
I also really need to start finding a way to pay the bills!