This is a repost from my old blog, but worth retelling.
Several weeks ago my wife caught me in the act. I never thought I would do something like this, let alone have Yvz see me this way…
One of the deciding factors in us purchasing a ps2 recently, was my wife’s obsession with the game Karaoke Revolution. I wasn’t all that impressed with it at first, but I found it grew on me with time. We like choosing the hard songs like ‘Under Pressure’ and ‘ABC’ and singing in duet mode together with all the overlapping parts.
But then it happened. Yvz caught me one sunday morning playing on duet mode by myself. Exposed with both mics in my hands and singing both parts, I quickly explained to her how this took the game to totally new levels of excitement and challenge. She sighed and didn’t say anything, as if she was wondering why I was even explaining myself.
Then it hit me as we were driving to church. I screamed, that was Karaoke Masturbation! (Keeping in mind that I had been thinking about nothing but sex for weeks in preparation for the “Passion & Purity class I was leading).
I had been doing something by myself that was designed for two. Underneath it all, what it said to Yvonne was that I didn’t need her. What once was our pleasure, had become mine alone, to be enjoyed at anytime I wanted.
Sex before God is unselfish and sacrificial, a mingling of the souls, a sacred song sung by two.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
These are profound thoughts on many levels. More and more our culture is craving intimacy with another soul but choose to meet this need by themselves. This narcissistic approach to life is counter to who God is and who God made us to be. Thanks for sharing Lon!
profound and funny
thanks guys, it’s a bit embarrassing, but I thought it was pretty funny too.
Thanks- I’m gonna read the last two paragraphs to my husband. maybe it’ll help him understand how it hurts. I am currently fasting from all sexual acts, even with myself, in hopes to cure this lack of intimacy between us. I think it would do better if only he could fast as well. Everything you realized is EXACTLY how this makes me feel. Thanks for putting it into words for me. Any advice or comments are greatly appreciated, cuz this feeling sucks to be had!
Hey Janessa, I’m glad it was helpful!