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My friend Kavin…

Kavin was one of my best friends throughout high school. I think we met while slacking off in a grade 10 business class. He wanted to be a fashion designer. I wanted to be a rock star. We both didn’t belong. We connected immediately.

It may have helped that he was one of my first friends with a car. I still think about that beautiful car. It was a junkie burgundy k-car that you could put your feet up on. It didn’t only take us places – just being near it was a good time. Sure the door would come out and the muffler would drag while driving, but Kavin’s car was freedom from that place called home, which meant a lot as a teenager.

Kavin introduced me to Depeche Mode, and we’d talk about music for hours. Radiohead, nine inch nails, smashing pumpkins, even brit-pop littered our conversations. We’d loiter everywhere we go. We even saved the cups at Taco Bell in the trunk of his beater for the free refills every time we went back. Yes, they were good times.

Looking back I wish I could say that I was a positive influence. I’m sure we had constructive conversations about girls, life, and God, but I really wasn’t doing so well myself those days. I recall being a jerk to Kavin on multiple occasions. Still, he stuck by, and I still wonder why.

Kavin was smarter than me and taller than me, and rightly so I think he had better ambitions than me. I think he actually wanted to be somebody. I was a dark cloud never wanting anyone to be anything. I’d laugh at those who were ‘involved’ and mocked those who ‘tried’ in life. I find it was so easy being and influencing others to be apathetic, cynical, and aimless. The thought always haunts me that Kavin was one of those people who crossed my path during these darker times.

What I love about Kavin is that he has a spirit that wrestles with things. Sometimes it was hilarious when the feeling of angst was mutual. Other times, when I was more oblivious to what was going on, I think that the angst led him to moments of despair. Before it was cool to have a tortured soul, Kavin had one. He has one because underneath it all, he actually cares deeply in a world that tells him not to.

Kavin is a creative spirit, ridiculously funny, a searcher, and the dude who used to drive me around.

Here’s a picture he made of himself. Yes it’s all him.

Kavin's personal party

{ 10 comments… add one }

  • kav March 31, 2006, 4:46 pm

    We were the embodiment of the “Slacker” lifestyle. While the majority of the high school population pre-occupied themselves with part-time jobs, extra-circulator activities, or even activity trying to get laid, we just hung out. With minimal goal in mind, and less money in tow.

    How did we manage for pay for all that gas? Perhaps the school, the mall, and occasional late night girlfriend visits were within a 3 km radius. With all that freedom, we never went very far. So I was to travel in time and revisit my old self, I would whoop his ass and tell him to get a job, liquor before beer, and don’t try to take OAC chemistry.

    It’s so easy to look back and think we could have done better, but then that is almost the same as saying I should have invested in Amazon stocks when it went public. We didn’t smoke crack or even knew where to get them. I didn’t get anyone pregnant (I’m sure since you can’t impregnate by obsession). My parents never used me as the prize child to brag about, but they didn’t have to worry.

    BTW lon, I think you owe me 2.4 million dollars in Monopoly money.

  • tony sheng March 31, 2006, 5:02 pm

    that picture is sooo cool!

    nice post about a friend

  • deana April 1, 2006, 11:10 am

    what an awesome picture! is he a fashion designer?

  • onelife April 1, 2006, 9:07 pm

    thanks for stopping by all. It was great seeing you for lunch today Kavin! and yes that is about the darned coolest picture I’ve seen in quite a while.

    Deanna, Kavin never did end up becoming that fashion designer, but I think he’ll be taking a leap into the photography industry. You can click on the picture to see some of his other shots as well.

    I’m excited for him!

  • Jake April 3, 2006, 12:19 pm

    That is quite a piece of work.

  • jeff jamison April 3, 2006, 12:34 pm

    Hey Lon,

    Thanks for the comment on my blog…

    I was looking through your blog, and we have many similarities in spiritual direction. Have you looked at some of the neu/neo-monastic sites. They are VERY missional in outlook and have a very similar vibe in what you are trying to achieve missionally/spiritually.

    BTW, I have a friend just like Kavin. His name is Howard Connelly and he is an artist who does amazing stuff. We creating in a darkroom in the early 80’s what you do now in photoshop. His influence made me persue being a professional musician vs. doing the “normal, right” thing. Check out what he does… http://www.howardconnellydesign.com/


  • Albert April 3, 2006, 11:44 pm

    I can feel the friendship vibes just by reading your words. It’s nice that you have a friend like Kavin (and vice versa) to remember the great times and experience more as we journey through life…

  • Lon April 4, 2006, 3:31 pm

    Jake, Jeff, Albert, thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

    I knew the picture would be a hit, and don\’t we all love hearing about great friendships? I think I\’ve taken them for granted all my life, but I know in truth they really are very rare.

    Jeff, your friend Howard has some amazing work, seems like he does everything! I\’m all for straying from the norm and pursuing what\’s most meaningful at the deepest levels.

    It\’s great connected with like-hearted people. I haven\’t looked into many of the monastic sites… anything you can refer me to? I\’ll be sure to keep up with your vox!

  • alex April 5, 2006, 1:46 pm

    love the pic.

  • Sam. April 5, 2006, 3:01 pm

    VERY cool!!

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