Out of commission…

June 15, 2004

Who thought that last post was lame? That was the seminary student side of me coming out… intrigued with social commentary / academia and all that jazz. My apologies, some days it feels extremely important to me, other times (like right now) it seems embarrasingly like meaningless drivel.

Back to what’s actually going on. I’ve been so fired up lately about running hard for God. I have been encouraging everyone with how I would rather run hard and stumble forward landing flat facing God than sit idle and allow the world around me to press against and shape me. I even told my mentor last week (almost braggingly) how I haven’t been sick in years. Until now…

I woke up Sunday morning with my head throbbing and my throat dirt dry. Not the best of timing as I was to be leading prayer meeting that morning (arrived late), kicking off the “Men of Faith” Sunday school class (drank water profusely throughout), presenting Monday downtown for some cross training (struggled through), share at our Shake&Shine team meeting (which I have now wisely cancelled), and speaking at a campus fellowship on outreach (which God graciously delayed a week).

This morning pure natural ability won over human will power. I told myself that today for the first time in our marriage I would sleep in past Yvonne. I couldn’t do it, and though feverishly sick, I got out of bed by seven. I’m not sure if it is some kind of medical condition I have or not, but I realized as I struggled to stay horizontal, that I wake up every morning feeling my heart rapidly beating. It races onwards until I get up and start doing something, plateau-ing as my body gets into rhythm with the pumping of the blood. I think in my mind I get the sense the world is moving on without me and I’m missing out… so I press on.

I’ve learned much these past few days. I’ll jot’em down later. As for now I must start listening to that voice I thought I slayed years ago, and get some rest, “the spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

Posted in Faith, life